Nong Toom grew up in a poor, rural setting in Thailand, where she was considered a freak and an embarrassment to the family. She was born with a male body, but she identified as a woman.

Her opportunity to escape poverty and change her gender was found in Muay Thai, where each victory brought her closer to her dream of undergoing cosmetic surgery. She finally achieved it, and with the release of “Beautiful Boxer”, a film about her life, she became an international celebrity.

Few people have the luck to use professional sports as a means to escape poverty and realize their non-heteronormative identity. Although Thailand is a country tolerant of LGBTQ+ individuals compared to most Asian countries – the state decriminalized homosexuality in 1956 and homophobic violence is scarce – kathoey people from rural poverty face many difficulties in ascending in society.

The term Kathoey

Kathoey is a term used in Thailand to refer to people born with male sexual physiology, but with a female gender identity. Kathoey does not directly equate to the Western term "trans," as its concept is broader: it includes people who undergo hormone therapy or cosmetic surgery, people who cross-dress, and those who live as effeminate men.

In Thai families, especially those with limited resources, children have strong cultural obligations: they are expected to work from an early age and marry soon. In turn, the family can be a source of emotional support and the main provider of access to resources and social contacts, fundamental for an individual to rise in society.

Therefore, the degree to which family members accept or reject a kathoey person's identity crucially determines their subsequent social rank and stability. A study published in 2023 includes testimonies from several of these individuals from rural areas:

— I was very young. My father didn’t like my way of being... He beat me and threw me out, so I ran away to my aunt's house.

— I think my mother knew since I was little, but she always supported me... She dressed me as a woman when I performed in some special village events. She was the one who prepared the dresses, accessories, and makeup. She never complained.

But, even if they are lucky enough to have family support, they encounter insurmountable barriers when it comes to finding a job:

— Despite having a degree, I was not accepted to work in a private hospital or anywhere else because I am a woman. I wore makeup once when I was on the night shift at the hospital, and my colleagues filed a complaint with Human Resources... They asked me to leave the job because I hadn't passed the probation period.

As a result, kathoeys see their job opportunities channeled into tourist bars and sex work. Although they claim that this life path is part of their identity, there is no doubt that these "choices" are the result of blocked opportunities:

— An older transsexual once told me: "Why don't you find a foreign husband? My friend went to live abroad and became a "Madam"... you're not ugly. Why don't you try? Maybe your life will be better." So I came here (Pattaya).

Foreigners seeking long-term relationships with kathoeys are usually older men looking to start a business in Thailand. This means that the kathoey provides them with contacts and knowledge of the language and culture, which are essential for a foreigner to run a business, own property, and live in Thailand. In return, Kathoeys rise socially.

However, this is a very competitive field, and the demand for wealthy foreign suitors far exceeds the supply. Many Kathoeys fail to secure a stable long-term foreign partner and continue to depend on poorly paid sex work. Others fall back down when they lose them:

— One day, if the foreigner leaves you or no longer sends money and you have no money, your friends who used to hang out with you won't care about you anymore. I’ve seen many cases. When you're on top, you buy drinks for everyone. But when you fall, everyone steps over you.

Most of the interviewees longed to reestablish the bond with their family and hometown. They had a genuine emotional need to be a valued family member and receive recognition:

— If my partner is no longer here, and I have handled the inheritance, I will move to my hometown. I will build a house and open a small beauty salon. I will take care of my nephews...

For kathoeys, life in tourist areas is a way out of poverty, but not the solution. As Nong Toom said:

— The only thing that makes me unhappy are external factors over which I have no control, such as what others think of me and the fact that my gender is not legally recognized. If I were asked how much I feel like a woman, I would have to say that part of it depends on how much society is willing to accept my new identity.